The Flamboozle

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and now, a word from our sponsor

This week's assignment will be to write a slogan for a product you'd find on a late-night infomercial. Not a lengthy assignment to be sure, but one that will no doubt be just as gutwrenching as the others. Good luck.

the depths of spelling

This place is a toombe
Darque like my mistress'
Long flowing locks
My mascara runs
No one understands me
No one
A darque toombe

Need

Hunger.
A fire burns within me.
I yearn.
Hot Topic has a sale.
That corset top will be mine.

Woe and Agony

Get out your velvet and lace for this week's theme...

A verse from a poem as written by a goth teen

And no wise ass remarks from you, J.

Never is Always Late Enough

Throngs of people rushed from the busy London Underground station, crying and screaming in agony as fire pulsed and raged from the tube's entrance, and Agent Pierce could do nothing except blame himself, his cranky bowels, and the extra helping of lox he slapped on his morning bagel.

Tired.. So tired.. This'll have to do.

Sammy hurried through the streets, bouncing off people, fighting to keep her footing, and fought down the surge of panic when she thought of how little precious time she had left before The Event; so very little time, but she pushed on, kept her head down and kept moving until she saw the building up ahead and broke out into a run, bursting through the doors and sliding to a stop before the one person who could save her and crying, "Blonde, Jane! I need to be blonde! I have a date in one hour and....48 minutes!"

Yeah, it's worse than liver and onions. Deal.

this assignment will self destruct

This week's assignment, if you choose to accept it, will be in the mode of super slick multi-national spy schlock a la The Bourne Identity (which fucking rocked by the way) and/or Alias. Think cosmopolitan cities, gadgets, old money conspiracy theories, super soldier syrums and fly-ass Russian operatives who'll kiss you as fast as they'll pop two bullets in the back of your head with a silenced .45.