The Flamboozle

"The only slicer, dicer, juicer, rotisserie / convection oven you'll ever want or need!"

and now, a word from our sponsor

This week's assignment will be to write a slogan for a product you'd find on a late-night infomercial. Not a lengthy assignment to be sure, but one that will no doubt be just as gutwrenching as the others. Good luck.

the depths of spelling

This place is a toombe
Darque like my mistress'
Long flowing locks
My mascara runs
No one understands me
No one
A darque toombe

Need

Hunger.
A fire burns within me.
I yearn.
Hot Topic has a sale.
That corset top will be mine.

Woe and Agony

Get out your velvet and lace for this week's theme...

A verse from a poem as written by a goth teen

And no wise ass remarks from you, J.

Never is Always Late Enough

Throngs of people rushed from the busy London Underground station, crying and screaming in agony as fire pulsed and raged from the tube's entrance, and Agent Pierce could do nothing except blame himself, his cranky bowels, and the extra helping of lox he slapped on his morning bagel.

Tired.. So tired.. This'll have to do.

Sammy hurried through the streets, bouncing off people, fighting to keep her footing, and fought down the surge of panic when she thought of how little precious time she had left before The Event; so very little time, but she pushed on, kept her head down and kept moving until she saw the building up ahead and broke out into a run, bursting through the doors and sliding to a stop before the one person who could save her and crying, "Blonde, Jane! I need to be blonde! I have a date in one hour and....48 minutes!"

Yeah, it's worse than liver and onions. Deal.

this assignment will self destruct

This week's assignment, if you choose to accept it, will be in the mode of super slick multi-national spy schlock a la The Bourne Identity (which fucking rocked by the way) and/or Alias. Think cosmopolitan cities, gadgets, old money conspiracy theories, super soldier syrums and fly-ass Russian operatives who'll kiss you as fast as they'll pop two bullets in the back of your head with a silenced .45.

this is the best i could come up with

"Draw," Zebekiah said with a grizzled sneer to the buxom blonde standing just ten paces ahead--sure, she had the face of an angel, and bossoms like two fluffy pillows just begging for you to lay your head upon, but she had the hind quarters of a zebra, and the hooves to match, and that was enough to make any half-elven gunslinger just a bit nervous.

Bucky Done Did It

After many rewrites, this is what I came up with..

Bucky-- who, on his best day, was never the brightest cowboy-- realized all too late that maybe Frank hadn't had his best interests at heart when he suggested, whilst downing his 8th whiskey, that it'd be really funny if Bucky were to brand the odd-looking man in the silly pointy hat, because odd-looking men in silly pointy hats invariably tend to be wizards that can painfully magic you into a puddle of florescent goo that can later be unceremoniously dumped into the spittoon-- unless they're Stan, the village idiot, who wore his silly pointy hat on Tuesdays but usually wore a padded helmet to keep him from hurting himself when he walked (literally) into buildings.

Then I worried it might not make sense. I forgot what I was writing it for.

When Worlds Collide..

Yes, I know. This past week got all wonky. I held off one posting this week's theme in order to get things back on track. But, I hope, it's well worth the wait. This week's theme will be...

The world of fantasy smacking right into a western.

Yes, that's right. Fantasy and western all in one. Wizards battling gunslingers at high noon. Or cowboys storming the castle. Whatever you like.. As long as it contains both elements.

Have fun!