death of destiny
J, age 28, died one year younger than R. He was a quiet man, a boring man, but in the most basic sense of the word--in so much as he breathed, ate and shat--he lived.
Though liver failure, tripping over a curb in a drunken stupor or some sudden venereal disease all would have been likely culprits in his demise, J, instead, was ushered into the next life via a giant funnel cloud that touched down near his home. He was, however, drunk at the time, and thankfully free of STDs.
J is survived by his PlayStation2 (Stella), a swanky widescreen HDTV and accompanying six-disc DVD player/5.1 surround sound system and upwards of $70K in debt, most of which resulting from his three years of "soul searching" at a private university in Staten Island, New York.
His liver, Sparky, could not be reached for comment.
Services will be held at the local watering hole, where Guinness will be on special for $3 a pint. Granted, this is not a result of his demise. Such specials can be found at the tavern every Thursday night.
Though liver failure, tripping over a curb in a drunken stupor or some sudden venereal disease all would have been likely culprits in his demise, J, instead, was ushered into the next life via a giant funnel cloud that touched down near his home. He was, however, drunk at the time, and thankfully free of STDs.
J is survived by his PlayStation2 (Stella), a swanky widescreen HDTV and accompanying six-disc DVD player/5.1 surround sound system and upwards of $70K in debt, most of which resulting from his three years of "soul searching" at a private university in Staten Island, New York.
His liver, Sparky, could not be reached for comment.
Services will be held at the local watering hole, where Guinness will be on special for $3 a pint. Granted, this is not a result of his demise. Such specials can be found at the tavern every Thursday night.
posted by at 7:05 AM
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