Death of a Drama Queen

R, age 29, Suburbia, NJ- She was known to most as Erratic Prophet and proudly proclaimed herself to be a geek, snob and bad writer. After being asked one too many inane questions, R fell into an apoplectic fit, resulting in not only a stroke, but a heart attack as well.

She is survived by her children, The Boy and The Girl, who will miss her chocolate chip cookies and lipglosses respectively; her cat, Buttons (a.k.a., Boo, Boo-Boo, Boobah, Boo Kitty, Boo Bear, Monsieur Boo-Boo), who was peeved about not being consulted about death prior to the event and took to destroying the furniture in retaliation; her mother, another R, who was heard to have said, "This was a bit overdramatic, even for her.."; and her father who is quite sure that R's death was done just to annoy him.

There will be no services held because R hated large parties as she thought that groups of moping people milling about a vase containing ashes-- cremated to better acquaint self to the climate in Hell-- idiotic and would do a half-gainer in her grave had she had one.

In conclusion: R dead, missed? unsure, very likely in Hell, no funeral, currently feeling sooty.